“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”.
~ Ephesians 5:24-25
It is not EASY to submit when society teaches us to be INDEPENDENT women…
when we PRIDE ourselves on being self-made, self-taught, and SUCCESSFUL under our own doing. However, the Bible instructs us to HONOR our husbands as head of our home.
It doesn’t say to honor him IF he makes the most money, or IF he is the perfect husband, or even IF we feel like it.
Although submission is ultimately a choice, we should CHOOSE to obey God. Our marriages should be a reflection of Christ’s relationship with the church. The church yields to God and so, wives should yield to their husbands. If he makes an error, it is a learning experience for him. If we were right in suggesting Plan A, and he opted to go with Plan B and it FAILS MASSIVELY, we are to support his decision and allow God to show him the err of his ways. (Sometimes I throw in an i-told-you-so for good measure lol)
The main difficulty I have had in this area is the blazing fact that my husband IS NOT Christ… and so, in all his humanness I cannot fully wrap my mind around why he SHOULD be the leader of our home. BUT over the years, I have learned that our marriage cannot be successful with TWO heads of household. We will continue to bump heads… unless one of us relinquishes control. My husband is probably reading this like WAIT… SHE HAS NOT RELINQUISHED ANYTHING buuuuuuut I am trying! And that should count for something! lol I have actually relinquished A LOT of control… because I am more calm these days when I want to scream to the mountaintops 🙂
There are some women who grew up with cookie cutter examples of what submission looks like… maybe their mother was the softspoken type and their father led without fault. Even I was shown an example with the marriage of my grandparents, Lawrence and Lula Roberts. Even while paralyzed from the waist down, and up to the day he passed away, my grandmother allowed my grandfather to lead, make decisions, and be the MAN. Even when my sisters and I disputed this choice… she submitted without quarrel, without dispute, and without breaking a sweat.
I revealed to my husband recently that I dont always feel “safe” with him…(for lack of a better word) and Im sure it hurt him to have me say that. But I wanted to be honest— I was raised with a very RARE breed of man. My father wasn’t the most quiet— to say the least. I realize that I associate his type of aggression and psychotics (lol) with strength and protection. A man who walks around beating his chest is clearly capable of protecting you, right? *side eye*
But, my husband is the opposite. Many have never heard him raise his voice… and so I am always there Miss Loud and Outspoken to defend and protect him and our home if need be. I am learning to lean on him for support… to trust that he is equipped to protect me and our family if need be… and I love him for reassuring me of this truth.
Still, it is not easy for me. It is a daily struggle… and I do mean struggle. BUT the first step in correcting any aspect of yourself is realizing it requires correction.
Ladies, allow your husband to be the head of your home. Allow him to be the MAN. Allow him to protect you, to comfort you, to be there for you in all his manliness.
Not only does God instruct us to do so… but our men NEED it. In the words of my husband, A WIFE HAS ALL THE POWER. Our actions dictate where our marriage goes– whether we are submissive, respectful, honorable, loyal, and loving can be a matter of “til’ death do us part” or “let’s sign these papers”. Sure, there are some who will end up divorced because that is the way LIFE is set up. But if you have done 100% of what you could do as a wife, what God instructs us to do as wives, then this may very well be YOUR learning experience, YOUR testimony, and YOUR moment of growth.
Be wise. Be humble. Be a WIFE♥