Sometimes The Darkness Is Consuming…

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I complain a lot.

But I have had a rough 27 years of life.

One of the first conversations I had this morning was with my dear friend, Anna. She just found out a well-known DJ in Tallahassee committed suicide. I believe she said he was 27 years old.

Our age.

Some people do not know the depth of pain which would allow someone to even CONSIDER suicide. I admit there were years of my life that were so dark… years where I could not see my hand in front of my face because of the darkness around me.

I thank God for allowing me to move beyond those years but it was not an easy feat to accomplish.

It is easy to look at a smiling face and not notice it is merely a motion committed by the curves of the mouth… without thought… and unauthentic. It is not easy to recognize whether someone’s smile actually reaches their eyes and if you put up a façade long enough you can fool EVERYONE…

…but God.

Everyone has their own journey…

Their own struggles…

Their own heartaches…

Their own disappointments, failures, and hopeless moments.

But, sometimes when you are going through, it is hard  to entertain the idea that someone else has been in that place and SURVIVED. We will not all walk the same path… but our path (though dark, though disastrous, though filled with rocky places) was uniquely created to bring us to the place God desires us to be.

Our trials were not designed to break us…

I have stared in the face of many problems CAPABLE of destroying me… I have been in circumstances where my FAMILY turned my back on me… where my HUSBAND betrayed me… where my FRIENDS became my enemies… where I had NO INCOME…

… the list goes on and on and on.

&& I am still NOWHERE NEAR the place where I want to be…

But I am HERE.

I am a living, breathing, PRAYING woman who has HOPE that life WILL get better and that this journey will be the ultimate testimony for other human beings just like me with life experiences that could have/should have/would have killed them if they had chosen not to see the light at the end of the tunnel…

That conversation with my friend broke my heart. It broke my heart to know that this young man was a father. It broke my heart to know that his brother found his lifeless body. It broke my heart to know that so many people knew and loved him…

But it mostly broke my heart to know that he felt there was no other way to end his suffering than to end his life.

EVERY story has a beginning, middle, and an end

&& most of them have happy endings

…if we continue reading

…if we CONTINUE LIVING

…if we START TRUSTING GOD

I am not very happy with how my life is right now but I am VERY HOPEFUL about my future. I know there WILL be glory after this trial… there will be sunshine after the storm… that is just the way life was designed.

I am putting ACTION behind that hope to secure the future I desire…

Work hard.

Pray HARDer…

And BELIEVE HARDest!

Your day is coming! Your light is there… open your eyes and SEE what everyone else sees in you. You are destined for greatness! You are beautiful. You are talented. You are blessed. Believe it!

And dare to LIVE!

♥♥♥

NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LIFELINE: Need help? In the U.S., call 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Sometimes all you need is someone to talk to… someone to vent to… someone to cry with. TALKing helps.

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