Nightmares Suck!

 

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Life is short…

I get that.

However, the reality of its brevity crept into my dreams last night. And I hated it. I have had crazy dreams before… but the pain of that dream NIGHTMARE was all too real.

See… my husband was murdered last night…
Shot in the head…

right in front of my face…
In front of our children.
Over $12.

Imagine the screams that escaped our lips… the agonizing grief that overcame me without hesitation. It was all too real. Entirely too real…And my loud sobs and hysterical screams are what woke me up this morning. Who really needs an alarm clock when one of your worst nightmares appears to have come to fruition?!

I have never been one to give much credence to things I have dreamed about… outside of the recurring dream I have had ever since I was around 13 or 14,when I experienced the world ending with fire and I couldn’t escape (but that’s an entirely different post o_O) . However, an eerie part of me feels like I have had this dream before. As I watched the events unfold, I felt as if I was trying to change the outcome of things because I already KNEW what was about to happen. In the dream, my husband was getting ready to leave the house and I kept telling him how much I love him and I kept kissing him. I even went as far as to attempt to discourage him from stepping outside to speak with the 3 men who came to our door. Obviously to no avail…

Because in the end…

Ugh.

I pray I never experience that pain, Lord.

Most dreams you don’t remember. You may remember a little here and there… spotty scenes that make absolutely no sense. But this one— I remember every single solitary detail & worst ever, I remember seeing my husband lifeless— blood pouring from his skull from a single gunshot wound.I remember my daughter’s expression as I yelled at her to go in the room and lock the door.I remember the heartache and desperation of calling the police for help but knowing my husband could not be saved…

It hurt— it still hurts. Even though I know it wasn’t real… even though I know it was a nightmare, I just cannot shake the horrible feeling it gave me. Needless to say, I immediately woke up to hug my husband. He is oblivious to the fact that moments before that hug, in another realm, I was hugging his corpse. smh

Life is precious…
VALUE it.
APPRECIATE it.
BE THANKFUL for it.
LOVE it.

And for the record, my husband is no longer allowed to answer the front door or loan anyone $12. LOL

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