* This could have been a Marriage Memo Monday Post lol
Today, I spoke with a woman reserving a room for her bachelorette party… she is 27-years-old and will be married this September. I do not know this woman— but God allowed her to call and have me answer the phone.
It’s funny but we ended up having a conversation about marriage.
In speaking of her Bachelorette party, she asked if I was married. I proudly answered that the Mister and I will celebrate 4 years of marriage in March. She was intrigued since I sound so young— I confirmed her suspicions that I am 26 years old. My advice to her was the same advice I give ANYONE engaged to be married (and married already): RESOLVE IN YOUR MIND TO BE IN YOUR MARRIAGE TIL’DEATH. Many times we come into marriage with these preconceived notions of what marriage is and what it is not. We allow the experiences of others to taint our views on this union ordained by God. The Kim Kardashian-esque marriages have become all too familiar and the societal norm. But, the most important thing to remember for YOUR marriage is that IT CAN LAST!
Don’t be afraid to experience problems with your spouse. Don’t be afraid to shed tears. Don’t be afraid in the uncertainty which arrives when issues become a reality. Realistically, it is impossible to have a healthy marriage that is perfect. If you know someone who claims to NEVER argue, NEVER disagree, NEVER go to bed angry— and they haven’t been married 50+ years, they are LYING. It takes time to age into the marriage of your dreams. It does not happen overnight— and I can attest that it doesn’t happen in 4 years either.
Marriage is a deliberate GROWTH…
slow and steady.
It is not to be taken lightly— a deep spiritual connection of sorts with someone who has vowed to be your rock, your backbone, your forever.
Yes, sometimes vows are broken in the process. Yes, harsh words are sometimes said in the heat of the moment. But MARRIAGE is able to overcome all of those things. If you ask anyone who has been married for a while, they will let you know it’s no easy feat. Every day of marriage is a BIG DEAL because long term marriages are becoming a rarity only experienced by those who were born during a time where you FIXED things that were broken— not simply replaced them.
I want to encourage you the same way I encouraged Ms. Bachelorette— IF you go into your marriage with the intent to FIX those things that become broken over the weeks, months, and years, you are already EQUIPPED to be SUCCESSFUL. I am not saying divorce should never be an option. Sometimes it seems as if it is the only way— and in extreme cases, I’d recommend it. BUT for the most part, I feel divorce is avoidable— and obviously terms are different on a case by case basis.
BUT, one should never go into their union thinking of what their limits are. “He-better-never-do-x-y-z-or-its-over” or “she-better-not-x-y-z-or-im-done”. The limits of marriage are completely different once you are IN it. You have to be realistic with yourself and know that you are NOT marrying a perfect being.
Your vows may be to God but your marriage is not with the Lord Himself.
Know that problems arise, but for EVERY problem there is a solution
YOU just have to stick it out until YOU FIND IT!
Embrace your marriage…
And Live Happily Ever After ♥