I am a good listener. Perhaps, that is why so many people seek advice from me. Maybe my personal experiences provide me with this aura that says “I can help you” or “I wont judge you”. They come to me broken— and after allowing them to vent and talking with them, they discover what it is they need to do in their lives—Whether it is leaving an abusive husband, following their dreams, or learning to love themselves. What I realize is, we all tend to hold on to things that are broken. We all want to FIX everything… and its hard to figure out when it is time to let go. BUT in the end, you learn. You learn that your happiness trumps everything else… and that you are the most important person in your life— and then you do those things that are beneficial for YOU.
Its never easy…
After years of betrayal, you learn to build a wall around your heart. You learn people aren’t worthy of trust. You learn blood doesn’t qualify people as family. You learn people do not experience love the same way that you do. You learn friendships come and go. You learn there are more fake “friends” praying against you than for you. You learn the only person that can be trusted is yourself— and even you betray that trust with suicidal thoughts when things become seemingly too difficult to bear.
After years of betrayal, you learn forgiveness is easier said than done. You learn how to cope with the emotional scars that have become a standard part of your life. You learn bad memories have access to your mind during the most inopportune time… and without fail, they show up without regard for the happiness you desperately yearn for.
You learn you are angry… angry with yourself for believing in others. You are angry with them for lying— too many times. You are angry with them for making you look like a fool. You are angry that you had the audacity to expect differently.
You learn that resentment is unavoidable. It sneaks up… bringing along with it hatred. Uncontrollable hatred. It numbs you to an extent that is incomprehensible.
I just can’t wrap my mind around how numb I am.
But with numbness comes clarity… unbelievable clarity. There is a solution… though complicated… and it haunts you. Night and day. Your happiness becomes accessible. It is all in your hands. In my hands. I know what I have to do and its simple to SAY…
You just gotta know when to let go.
Preferably before the hatred… but even after, its possible.
You can’t live a fulfilling life with hatred in your heart. You can’t keep expecting more from people whose sole purpose seems to be to destroy you. Afterall, that is what devils were created to do. “Seek, kill, and destroy”. Their motives are clear. They’ve shown their hand numerous times so how can you not be prepared for the next attack?
Everyone who has trespassed against you does not deserve a second chance. Or a third. Or a four-hundredth. Don’t take the Bible so literally. Turn the other cheek but don’t lie down and be walked upon.
Embrace your power.