Let Me Get My Fat Ass On This TreadMill…

I just had an epiphany…


Well, it actually came in the form of my husband.

And I quote: You should run on the treadmill tomorrow.

Um… wtf.

First, who asked you for your opinion?

Secondly, who made you Mr. Fitness and what were they smoking on?

Third, stfu.

I am like most people— in the sense that I always SAY I’m going to workout, get fit, and lose weight. I always SAY Im going to do all of these wonderfully healthy things and somewhere between driving past Dunkin Donuts and sitting at my cubicle for 8 hours, I suddenly realize I’m actually not THAT fat.

At my best size— I weighed 155 lbs and wore a size 10/11 in pants. This was in high school. 8 years ago. Before 2 kids and before my boobs decided to give in to the inevitable gravitational pull.

These days, I am at 185 lbs. And I wear a size 11/12 in pants. After 2 kids and with gravity-loving boobs. BUT when I ask ANYONE to guess how much I weigh… they can NEVER EVER EVER pinpoint my place on the scale. Why? Because I do not look like I weigh that much.


I’m FINE….

as hell!

Sure, my arms could be more tone. Yes, this stomach used to be more flat. BUT I cannot recall EVER having abs— and Im not so sure I want them now since I am also the proud owner of a few “tiger stripes” ((which remind me of those glorious pregnancy days :/ )) and I have no plans to show them off.

Yes, my thighs are larger.

But so is my ass and frankly, I love my ass.

Dont get me wrong— I do want to lose weight. Not because of the number itself but because I know if I actually begin exercising regularly and toning up the way I’d like, the pounds will drop off OR the weight will shift from the bad places (like this tiger striped belly) to aaaaaall the perfect places like this donkey-booty 🙂

What I find ridiculous (and de-motivating) is when other people decide to make YOUR fitness goals, theirs. Um… unless I hire you or ask you, I do NOT need your advice. No, you are not helping me out by reminding me that I should be eating a salad, skipping desert, or running on a treadmill. I am no idiot— and I know in order to reach whatever goal I choose, I have to be focused and stick to a certain healthy lifestyle. BUT as an adult— and a very wise one at that, I also know that I AM ABLE TO MAKE THOSE CHOICES MYSELF.

I do not need you to hold my hand.

I do not need you to coach me.

AND, I definitely do not need ANYONE telling me when I fall off track.

I went to “Black Ops Bootcamp” last night at 24-Hour Fitness Pines and worked my ass off. I did things I never imagined possible with these 185 lbs and although I felt like death was hovering over me as I did those “burpies” and “Spider crawls”, I survived! And I am damn proud of myself for doing so.

Hell, at the request of my husband, I cooked oxtails, yellow rice, and cabbage last night—- and DID NOT EAT ANY OF IT. I came home after bootcamp and ate a delicious SALAD.

So…. HELL NO I will NOT be running on anybody’s damn treadmill today—

and probably not tomorrow either.

And tonight, I may very well enjoy a nice plate of leftover oxtails, rice, and cabbage.

And I have every right to do so without any ridiculous weight loss talk or BS about what I said I wanted to do in regards to MY weight and MY fitness.

I think women need to adopt a self-confidence NOONE should be able to destroy. Be fine in YOUR skin. Get comfortable there. I guarantee it is the ONLY place you have no choice but to be in. Even if you have a desire to lose weight and you shout it to the rooftops… NO ONE has the right to judge you or make belittling statements if you decide to go another route. It is YOUR body. Love it. Embrace it.

I may mention problem areas every now and again but please do not be confused by that talk. I am 100% confident with my body. I love my curves. I embrace these “tiger stripes” and I am in love with my ass. There is not even a pinch of insecurity in this frame… and you have NEVER seen 185 lbs look this good.

So, I digress

& you?

Well, you should just shut up.



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