It Gets Better…

In a word, life these days has been HARD. It seems like EVERYTHING that can go wrong has found some clever way to do so. The only thing I have for sure is the breath in my lungs — and even that isn’t guaranteed from one minute to the next. When my engine blew out on I95 the other day, I lost it. That incident was the cherry on top of a great big fudge sundae of bullcrap.

I literally went home and cried like a baby…

In a tub filled with hot water…

Lying in fetal position…

Boo-freakin’-hoo crying.

Looking back, I thank God I didn’t lose control of my vehicle and that I am alive to tell the story.

The following day, I walked home from work— which at first seems like no major feat. I mean, people do it all the time. Sure. The MAIN difference is I work on Miami Beach… and I live 9.5 miles away – across 3 bridges. BUT I thank God for the ability to walk— and the confirmation that I am not as fat and out of shape as my post-baby body would have me believe. lol

I thank God for my husband who took advantage of “National Men Make Dinner Day” that day and had food ready for me when I got home… along with running my bath water, and giving me a nice massage 😉

As an adult, I realize who I can depend on and who isn’t worthy of an iota of faith. There is a reason my circle is small… and these days, I can wrap my mind around that truth. My true friends are always there for me… calling to check on me, offering words of encouragement, and just reassuring me that I am loved.

I am so thankful for my grandmother. I don’t know what I would do or where my husband and I would be without her. She is truly a godsend. I am certain she now has page after page after page after page of what we owe her and I am thankful that I have her to depend on. We would literally be homeless, carless, starving, and broke.

 My husband isn’t as lucky to have family willing to help out— begrudgingly or otherwise—which sucks massively since he is ALWAYS there to help others when he can. BUT you live and you learn and although I pray he continues in his spirit of giving unselfishly, I hope this difficult time in our lives teaches him that there are some unworthy of such giving. I learned a long time ago that family isn’t always BLOOD. Family is THE PEOPLE WHO ARE THERE WHEN YOU NEED THEM, THOSE WHO ENCOURAGE YOU, THOSE WHO LOOK OUT FOR YOUR BEST INTEREST, and THOSE WHO ULTIMATELY DESIRE FOR YOU TO DO WELL IN LIFE.

My circle is small for a reason…

I am thankful for Anna— the absolute BEST godmother in the ENTIRE WORLD. If anything happens to my husband or me I am confident Anna would raise our children as her own because her actions have proven that she truly LOVES THEM both unconditionally && they love their Goddy Anna to death!

I am thankful for my sisters— Dawn, who has helped me out tremendously and calls me from time to time; Keda, who has offered encouraging words even when I’ve made it clear I am not speaking to her lol ; and Janis, who keeps me laughing and keeps me grounded.

I am thankful for my friends— Tiffany, who makes sure we talk nearly every single day, keeps me on top of things; Kevonda, who makes a point to ask if I need anything, if the kids need anything, and if I’m doing well; Co-workers (Ingrid, Laura, Wendy, Nancy, and countless others) who have bought me breakfast and lunch just because Im awesome, have given me rides to and from work, and have just been amazing at work- keeping me smiling.

I am thankful for the amazing wives of the Miami Young Wives Club who have ALWAYS shown me nothing but love and respect. Their encouraging words, advice, and amazing personalities keep me afloat.

I am just thankful for life…

Last night, my husband and I watched “Undercover Boss” for the first time. The episode reduced me to tears. It was just an amazing portrayal of how awesome God is. The CEO of Modell’s Sporting Goods changed the lives of his employees. He saw a need and filled it. Not only did he provide one of his truck drivers with a raise AND gave him a check (minus taxes) of $50,000 to buy reliable transportation to his new position BUT he also provided one of his young warehouse employees with an incentive for getting to work on time and not missing any days for the next 90 days— He gave him a check (minus taxes) for $20,000 AND tickets for him and his younger brother (whom he has been a father figure for) to travel with the Mets on the teams private jet to an away game!

The most touching part of the show was in the ending. One of his associates (when he was undercover as a new employee) revealed she and her 2 children are living in a homeless shelter. She used her story of struggle to motivate the “new employee” to never give up on his goals. She said “It will get better”. Her life has not been easy… by a long shot! But she remained positive that IT WILL GET BETTER. As he unveiled his true identity, he not only promoted this associate to Assistant Store Manager (a $14,000 RAISE) BUT GAVE HER A CHECK FOR $250,000 TO BUY HER A HOME FOR HER AND HER CHILDREN!!!!!

This episode really taught us A LOT. The message was clear. No, I’m not looking for my very own Mr. Modell to buy me a house (or a car for that matter) BUT I know it was nobody but GOD that put him in the position to do what he did on last night’s show. God is truly ABLE.

I have struggled in my life… but my children have NEVER seen the inside of a homeless shelter. I have never had to sell my body to make ends meet. I have been reduced to tears on numerous occasions but my life has never been reduced to nothing. My faith in God may have waivered— but my faith has NEVER left me. God has never left me. I cannot complain.

I cannot.

I refuse to.

This lady truly inspired me last night. Before she even knew who he was, she spoke positively to him about keeping faith, remaining positive, and knowing it gets better after awhile. My struggling is not in vain. These hardships are not in vain. God uses us all in whatever manner he deems best. I am growing day by day… maturing day by day… learning day by day… and loving life and all of its many lessons day by day.

The old gospel hymn says….

“TROUBLE IN MY WAY

I HAVE TO CRY SOMETIMES

TROUBLE IN MY WAY

I HAVE TO MOAN SOMETIMES

I LAY AWAKE AT NIGHT

BUT YOU KNOW THAT’S ALL RIGHT

CAUSE I KNOW THAT JESUS

WILL FIX IT

AFTERWHILE”

I know He will fix it. We are all broken until Jesus fixes us… I am in tunnel vision mode. I see nothing but God’s favor and mercy reigning over my life. My husband and I will get through these times by the grace of God.

It WILL get better.

Be encouraged ♥

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