June 1, 2011 2:30 AM

It was a year ago today when they pronounced you dead…

Here is is June 1, 2012 and I can still hear your voice bouncing off the walls of this house.

I find myself telling the kids to whisper in an attempt not to wake you from your sleep.

Forgetting you arent here…

but remembering just how much you loved to sleep…

… and EAT.

Mostly eat.

It seems wierd but I think of you EACH and every time I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I have made so many of those things this lifetime I doubt I’ll ever view them the same.

But I eat them often…

with extra peanut butter…

enough to glue your mouth shut…

Just like you liked it.

Those were your favorite.

Outside of my cheesecake.

Store bought of course.

And yes, Im still stingy when it comes to sharing a slice.

Grandpa, I miss you dearly.

It has been a year but the pain of your absence remains fresh.

A wound unlicked.

Unhealed.

You were a father to me…

a stable addition to my twisted world.

Your life has left an undeniable impression upon my life…

… and the life of my children.

They remember you.

They ask about you often…

…remembering little things you said.

Rooting for the Lakers with grandma in the livingroom just because they remember its “grandpa’s team”.

BTW… the Lakers sucked especially well in your memory LOL

They remember you…

… and mention you.

Often.

And I try to hold back the tears before they see me cry…

most times I manage.

But when I dont, they remind me “Grandpa is in heaven”.

And I smile…

Because I remember the “thug” you used to be…

…and the angel you undoubtedly are today.

I wonder if you got your wings yet…

You could never drive more than 15 MPH even outside of the school zone so Im hoping you are more comfortable flying ❤

I love you dearly, Grandpa.

I miss you.

And if its possible to know, I want you to know I will ALWAYS love you and cherish your memory.

RIP Lawrence Carl “Wolf” Roberts

 

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