Hoopla, Coonery, and Time-Outs

I know it’s a whoooooole lot of hoopla and coonery most of the time but, believe it or not, Basketball Wives LA has me reeeeeally rethinking my life. On the Miami edition, I admit, I could not stand Gloria. However… I am actually quite fond of her this go round. I’m sure it has A LOT to do with her open acknowledgment that her relationship isn’t perfect. Yep… in Miami, she was sooooo adamant that her union with Matt would be and was different than the highly combustible unions of the other “Wives” ß- and I use that term just as loosely as them LOL.

Any who… this time around, Gloria is upfront, honest, and frank about the instability of her union && I love it… NOT the instability but the honesty. It took dear old Mattie Boy a whopping 5 years and 2 kids later to realize Gloria was the one. Hell, at least he finally realized it, right Laura??  o_0

Um… so… her relocating across country to be with ur monkey-faced ass, bearing your children, dealing with ur Ike-ish behavior, being subjected to ridicule for her choice to be with u, and living life under the microscope of the public eye just didn’t do it for u, huh, Matt?! Damn, that sounds familiar. Men. I swear.

Any who, I am happy Gloria made the decision to separate from him.  I am glad it was HER decision and not his. I am even more ecstatic that she has the financial wherewithal to get her own place and live a life separate from him… even though they hook up occasionally. LOL

Gloria is a young woman much like myself… she married young, had children young, and sorta lost her identity behind being a wife and mother of 2. The main difference between our plights is the fact that she has her own money… ((And a basketball player’s income to rely on lol)).

I do not have many regrets in life. I’d like to sit on my high-horse and claim I do not have any regrets. However, that isn’t true. My main ((and only)) regret is not pursuing my independence prior to marriage and motherhood. It is this decision that has propelled me into the state of being that I currently exist within. I believe my husband and I are experiencing things that every young, married (or monogamous) couple experiences… the feeling that we have not experienced our lives… as INDIVIDUALS && then the resentment sets in.

These feelings can do one of two things… get better or get WORSE over time. I guess it all depends on the type of individual experiencing the emotion. Some cannot handle it…  Honestly, I believe it has to be addressed at one point or another or… *cue dramatic music* … all hell will break loose.

Take my relationship for example. We have been together for 8 YEARS and I’m only 25. How many people can actually say they have been with their mate since they were 17? At that age, you do not know who you are and the only thing you claim to really KNOW is that you love this other person who also has no clue who he is either. The journey to age 25 TOGETHER is not an easy one… hell, the journey from 25 to 26 aint all roses either.

At some point, you go through this freakin’ beginning life crisis that makes things tumultuous… and pretty freakin ridiculous. I really think it’s the ultimate case of “Green-Grass-Syndrome”. It’s not that I believe the grass is greener… but I have never even SEEN this “other side” so therein lies the problem.  I’m not searching for something better because I value what I have already. But I’ve had the same.exact.thing. since I was 17. ((And I don’t mean that literally pervs… that didn’t happen til I was 18 lol)). If I knew there would be a consistent and accelerated move in the right direction, I probably wouldn’t even give 2 damns about this alleged “other side”. Quite frankly, I don’t care about what other men are on the other side. This aint the Twilight Zone and Im not the curious Caucasian woman in the horror flick wondering what is outside of her door. In fact, Im quite pleased with my relationship for the most part. The grass isn’t the greenest of greens but its not filled with manure either so Im pretty happy.

At the same time, I cant help but wonder what independence feels like? Its not like I’m some housewife solely dependent on my husband for my next meal. I have a full-time job; I own my own car, and I’m a full time student. BUT he has always been there… and I’ve always been here for him as well. So… how do we know who we are as INDIVIDUALS if we have been an entity for the entirety of our adult lives?

Truth be told, we could learn a lot from Gloria and Matt’s situation. Despite speculation… outside influences… poor advice… and a plethora of other things that could cause them to ignore their feelings and remain together for the sake of being together… they have chosen ((well, Gloria has chosen)) to take a time out. Kinda like the NBA. And wasn’t Matt’s response just perfect? I mean, they actually packed up as a unit… and he expressed his desire to come together as one after she has had enough time to get herself together.

Sometimes time outs aren’t as bad as they seem… sometimes they are necessary… and unavoidable. The main issue is whether or not the game resumes after the time out is over… luckily, they made this decision prior to getting married. I want to see them together… and I truly think this separation will be good for both of them. Matt will truly realize Gloria’s worth and value… and the importance of having his family under the same roof && Gloria will realize she hasn’t made some ghastly mistake… and that despite the imperfections, God placed Matt in her life for a reason… and it wasn’t just to birth those adorable little boys. They have a beautiful family ♥

I have been in Gloria’s shoes… and its not an easy place to be in… but sometimes you have to do what you have to do…kinda like with Emily ((Love & HipHop)). I have never done the whole separation thing… but I know exactly how she is feeling. When it takes someone so long to realize your value… and to realize all that you bring to the table… it makes you want to get up from the table. I don’t mind eating alone…

I just haven’t made the choice to do so yet…

Whew… this was refreshing. Kinda like counseling… lol

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