- Why Buy The Cow…
It has become commonplace for men and women to live together forever… without being married. Unfortunately there is a negative stigma associated with marriage. Many people are beginning to feel like it only complicates things… they question the purpose… as if the sanctity of marriage actually RUINS relationships.
Marriage is a beautiful thing. Despite the negativity surrounding it, there is NOTHING negative about following God’s command. God ordains marriage… what further reason could possibly be needed to legitimize it more than that? Nowadays, marriage is not held in as high a regard as it was in the past. The divorce rate back in our grandparents and great-grandparents day was pretty much nonexistant. People didnt just divorce for every little thing… they didnt divorce for the big things either. They realized that MARRIAGE is “Til death” and they stood by their commitments.
I think every little girl dreams of the day she finds the love of her life… and he asks for her hand in marriage. We grow up scribbling “Mrs (insert latest boyfriend name here)” on our notebooks over and over and over. And although little boys are more secretive with their feelings, I believe they all want to jump the broom one day as well. What I dont understand is this: At what point do we learn to SETTLE for being live-in boyfriends or in-house women?
An old saying warns against this. It says “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. In other words, if he is living with you already, you share a bed, you’re sleeping together, you cook, clean, wash dishes, etc etc… WHY should he feel the need to marry you? What benefits can you bring as his WIFE if you’re doing all of these things merely as his girlfriend?
I was raised in the church so things have always been a little different in my mind. Over the years, Ive come to realize that my views on relationships are different than many of my friends (male and female). Im from the whole “your body is a temple”, “the marriage bed is undefiled”, “girls keep your skirts down, boys keep your pants up” era. And thats how I plan to raise my children. I think things are waaaaay to casual for any of our own good.
ALL of my ex-boyfriends were men I would marry… well, all of the SERIOUS exboyfriends. If I realized you werent long-term quality, I’d dump you. Sorry loser. No offense but I want to be a wife. lol I think people get too wrapped up in the casual thing. Casual sex. Casual dating. That has never been me. I dont fall in love easily but I know what it is that I want… and being someone’s babymama was never on my list of things to do.
My advice: Every man is not your husband. Ever woman is notyour wife. Neither are they qualified to be. Im not saying you should go into the dating scene LOOKING for a husband. BUT be proactive. Dont just waste time with a guy thats only good in bed… or a woman that merely looks good on the surface but has no substance to her. Date people that are worthy of your companionship. Think about it… while ure wasting time shacking up with Mr. “I-wont-be-here-a-month-from-now” or Mrs. “Im-just-passing-time-with-you-until-someone-i-likes-comes-along”, Mr and Mrs RIGHT could have passed you by. Dont settle. Dont settle. Dont settle.
Marriage is HONORABLE. Yes, it may be difficult. Yes, it will take a lot of hardwork. BUT it doesnt ruin relationships. In fact, marriage is what keeps you together when the infatuation fades away, when the lust dissipates, when the dust settles. Why build a foundation on sand and wait around for the tide to eventually wash it away, when you can build it on concrete and be secure in knowing it is not as easily destroyed?